Black Butterflies

371311Black Butterflies

Please tell me there’s some confusion, or perhaps there’s been a mistake in my understanding. Please tell me you’re gay and you’ve been friendly because you like my personality. I can accept that. I would completely understand. You can even say that I’m just not your type. I would totally see your point. From the lyricist, Jill Scott, “Not everything is for everybody,” are real words I live by.

But this, this not knowing which end is up is driving me insane. The secret smiles you send my way when no one is looking, the little four-finger wave you give on the low that draws a smile out of me when I wasn’t even planning on curling my lips upwards. It’s just you, the singular you and the plural you; it’s your tone, your scent, your walk, your style. All of it sends those light carefree winged butterflies to dance across my stomach, and haphazardly float up into my heart, and again pull that unexpected smile.

I can’t take this torture of not knowing and constantly wondering, and maybe even fantasizing about the possibilities of you and the possibilities of me and those butterflies mingling.

I just need to know, or better yet, I wish that I could be a possibility. I wish I knew that it was not my imagination running wild and it’s been your true intention sending me those blessed creatures.

I beg you to tell me your intentions. Please tell me there’s been a misunderstanding, or tell me there’s truth in these butterflies of mine.

Just tell me something! Show me more than a smile from across the room because it’s not enough for me to draw any conclusions, nor is it enough to catch you stealing a glimpse of my spirit from the corner of my eye.

I have worried myself raw with the “what if’s,” the “possibilities,” and even the “I must be all kinds of crazies” for thinking a guy like you would be interested in a girl like me.

Each hypothesis has its own story, yet they always end the same: me not knowing the truth behind my butterflies.

I just remembered your dimples and again an unexpected smile slipped out, and another butterfly escaped for a solo dance across my heart.

It’s crazy that I keep wasting precious time wondering about the possibilities and negotiating with myself over your secret smiles. It’s crazy that I’m waiting on a response that may or may not ever come. Crazy is what I’ve become, the continuous waiting and the constant yearning for answers to this mystery. Why are you sending me butterflies?

There’s not a day, and Lord knows there has not been a night, that a butterfly hasn’t appeared. They float about as I recall our subtle interactions of the day. The butterflies flap their delicate wings across my mind lifting and dropping as they slowly make their way to my heart. At first it was cute and rather innocent. I rather enjoyed the company of my little friends. Their beauty reminded me that I was human, and that I still possessed human qualities.

But time has passed, it’s been six whole months. This is a different story with a different plot. Now, I feel cursed as they dance across my unwilling spirit. I feel taunted by their lightweight wings flapping for height and flapping for recognition. Those finely spun wings have sliced away my façade leaving my skin bloody, punishing me and confirming  the “What Not’s”. My black butterflies remind me every night of a possession that was not meant to be owned and a mystery that is clearly filled with dread.

My Black Butterflies are a burden that have left me with self-doubt. I no longer feel beautiful, nor do I see beauty, and the qualities that make me feel special are not human. So, tell me the truth. Tell me there’s been a misunderstanding. Tell me I’ve over analyzed the situation. Tell me there are no possibilities. Please tell me anything, just don’t send me any more butterflies.

The joke is over and the fun has long since left. You’ve made a fool of me. What was light and airy is now a dark affliction.

My little black butterflies, please leave me be…

 


Get ready. My next contest is coming soon! Just in time for Halloween, and this one will be for the Paranormal Romance Fans!

Sign up to be notified of my writing contest here.

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I am a Bully – Author Bevan Boggenpoel — Creative Talents Unleashed

I thrive on others weaknesses – I hit them with a blow I am fearless – my actions let them know. When I am around – they tread on deadly ground. I take the vulnerable apart – because I possess a careless heart. I go around daily – insulting and out of […]

via I am a Bully – Author Bevan Boggenpoel — Creative Talents Unleashed

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What if Tuesday

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What if “Its never a good time to ‘Let it go?'”

I know the day is almost gone, so this means its a good suited topic. I just sent this question to one of my fellow spirit dwellers. When is it a good time to “Let it go?”

Is it when you turn 59 years old, or when you’ve tried over a dozen times or failed over a million. Or is when you don’t care about the extra calories from that second cookie or when you just don’t care about the consequences any more?

Writers, this question must tickle your spirit.

I guess there’s never a good time.

Or maybe there is?

Share your thoughts on the last few hours of “What if Tuesday”

Stay Inspired….

Posted in Book Reviews, BWWM, Contests, Current Events, Eternal Traces, Evil, Free reads, Life Lessons, Love and Romance, Paranormal Phenomena, Uncategorized, What if? | Leave a comment

What If You could Change History

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What if Tuesday

“What if” you could change one thing in history. What would you change?

Would you call back the Titanic from that fateful voyage or erase the first test atom bomb from exploding? Or would it be something simple and more connected to your life, like changing the circumstances of the first day you met your lover who broke your heart into a million pieces?

If you can, please share your story.

Be Inspired….

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The Wait is Over – Contest Winner Announced!

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My Best Opening Line Contest  Contestants were asked to enter one line based on the following prompt:

“She loved him and he loved her but it wasn’t that simple…”

The winner is…

Joel W. Crofoot with his entry of:

He was an angel, she was a human, and there were rules against such things: steadfast, cosmic, rock solid rules that he’d violated once and paid for once.

I want to thank everyone for participating. I hope you all enjoyed writing the next sentence as I enjoyed reading your responses.


Find Joel W. Crofoot and his books.

Website

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Winning Writing! Do you have what it takes?

If you’d like to join the mailing list to hear about future contests, click here.

Check out previous Flash Fiction Writing Contest Winners here.

Check out the previous Best Opening Writing Contest Winners here.

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More Entries

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Again, thank you for those who participated in the contest. Here are a few more entries…

They are not in any special order.

They are just interesting and I felt worthy of sharing.

She loved him and he loved her, but it wasn’t that simple

One Line Entry:  There was their respective spouses to consider, plus the added complication of their wheelchairs.

By Tony Milligan

 

One Line Entry: Everyone felt as though robots were glorified metal maids, but Ric-7 felt love and he was the first one to do so.

By A. M. Hounchell

 

One Line Entry: Her strict, racist father would rather see her dead than married to a boy like him: poor, black, and with nothing to show for himself, but the love for a  beautiful girl and a dying dream of showing everyone that he could be more than what this cruel society had fated for him.

By Gwendolyn Bunnewith

 

One Line Entry: Because he failed to realize that her hobbies included getting surgery every year and making elderberry wine spiked with more than a little arsenic, and she didn’t know that his funds manager was secretly siphoning off interest payments and having a sordid affair with her terribly attractive twin sisters.

By: LindaAnn LoSchiavo

 

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“Best Opening” Writing Contest Entries

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I’ve hosted a Flash Fiction Contest and I hosted a Best Opening contest all in hopes of pushing writers to create the perfect opening chapter. My latest contest which has closed was a single sentence inspired by…

“She loved him and he loved her but it wasn’t that simple…”

I wanted to know your next line to make me want to read more. To make me want to buy that book or turn to the next page.

Isn’t that what we seek as writers, those special words set in the right manner to excite our readers to continue on the journey? That’s my reason for my contests to exercise your writing skills and creativity. I want to inspire you to move beyond your normal.

On March 14, 2017 I’ll announce the winner, but until then I thought I would share a few of the entries.

One Line Entry: She kept giving him one last chance, and he kept asking for one last chance, until one day she finally realized and said to him,”How many times for the same mistake again?”

By Nikita Agarwal

One Line Entry: It was a lovers’ dark.

By Adam Sifre

Welcome to Perfection, and please enjoy the Journey

Stay Inspired

Shonda

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